“I am feeling pretty good. One of the nice things I guess about getting into the second half of the race is your body is more adjusted. Also your mind starts to dissipate a little bit. There is still a long way to go.”
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Just before the first half was over, Nirbhasa saw his race slipping away. He went through almost a week of rock hard days that slowly started chipping away at his mileage cushion.
Not that he ever lost his infectious smile and optimism. But some parts of his body were just not resisting or accommodating to the strain of running 60 plus miles a day.
Nirbhasa said that he did not experience doubt at this time. “I just surrendered to whatever happens happens. I knew that I was doing my best out there. I wasn’t wasting time, that week, that I was really slow and wasn’t making the daily mileage.”
Now however even though the finish line though is still 1377 miles away it is looking just that more attainable.
“Yesterday was interesting. I found myself counting down the days. The mind gets a kind of temporary stability in dealing with things by trying to count things. But you get no joy out of it. So I am really trying to cut that out. Instead just enjoy the morning running.”
“This morning I woke up and was only thinking about running this morning. I am just really enjoying being out here.”
Yesterday he had a long call with friends back home in Dublin. “You really feel that you are not doing it for yourself. That it is not just you out there that there are a lot of people, getting inspiration, getting joy. That really helps. Also it is really nice to get on the phone and talk to people.” (laughs)
“My relationship to Sri Chinmoy and I think all of our relationships to Sri Chinmoy was that many of the moments. Many of the transformative moments that they didn’t fit into the usual narrative. A lot of the time when Sri Chinmoy wanted to do something, or wanted to have an experience through you. He could do it like that.” (snaps fingers)
“He could do it with a smile, with a meditation, with a look your way.”
Nirbhasa recalls a time when he visited New York and his meditation group had just completed working very hard on some project. He was sitting with a large group at a function when Sri Chinmoy mentioned Ireland. “When he mentioned Ireland I could immediately feel inside my heart this tremendous outpouring of gratitude coming from him. He was so unbelievably grateful.”
Nirbhasa describes the mix of what on one level appears to be a casual conversation, and on the other, “I am having this tremendous experience, feeling this gratitude pouring from him. I had many different experiences like that.”
Nirbhasa describes how on another occasion he was stressed out and felt he was carrying a tremendous weight of stupid unnecessary thoughts. With one brief look from Sri Chinmoy he felt the weight simply vanish. “Gone.”
He also feels that he knew his physical time with Sri Chinmoy was going to be brief so that he had to create a deep inner relationship, this inner understanding. “This has served me well since Sri Chinmoy passed.”
“I still feel that I have these kind of experiences, even during the race. I still feel that I can call on Sri Chinmoy at different points during the race. That I feel when I get different experiences during the race that they are somehow coming from him. The one thing that spirituality teaches us is that the soul is eternal.”
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