Nidhruvi is celebrating her birthday at the 3100 mile race today. It is not a new thing for her to run for 18 hours around a New York city block on this very special day. She did after all run the race twice before, in both 2013 and 2104.
I am not quite sure now if the course was generou enough to smile beneficently upon her efforts back then. Today at least the sun is shining, the air is dry, and the day ahead looks to be as perfect as it ever gets here deep in the final grinding days of June.
This morning I interviewed her, and though the weather was being nice to her this day I was not so. I started of with a tough question. I was curious what she would like for a birthday present? Both from the Supreme, the world, and from herself. Her response, not unexpected, “that is too early to ask.”
Nidhruvi not unfamiliar to tough challenges then replied, “Surrender. Just to be able to surrender no matter what. And through this surrender then to be the most perfect instrument for the Supreme and for Guru.”
I was curious to know why surrender is so difficult for all of us. “I guess there are many reasons. We are still so very much human. We live in our own little worlds. There are so many things that we don’t know and we have to learn. I think it is learning by doing. Step by step you learn more. Also we have to find out what surrender really is.”
“This is my 3rd race.” I ask her if there is always something to be learned by coming back. She laughs, this is a never ending story. “This is transformation for yourself and transformation for the world. You feel everything, because you are just in it. All is one.”
“Sometimes you quite often feel this heavy weight. But then again on the other side you also feel this beauty and joy in this world.”
Nidhruvi tells me that she was very excited about coming back to the race after a 3 year absence. “Till about one month before. But then, like 2 weeks before, I was still looking for helpers and then I got totally sick before the race. So many challenges.”
“I was always thinking to myself. Stay calm, stay quiet, and just have faith in Guru. If you are supposed to be here then I will be here.” Ultimately she decided that there was nothing to be gained by worrying and that the Supreme would have to be responsible for getting everything organized and readied.
She also says that up until the night before the race she had a persistent bad cough. “On the last night before the start I was literally crying inwardly and outwardly. What should I do? I am weak and I am coughing like crazy. There was so much fear. How am I going to run for 52 days in this condition?”
“Then I went to the meditation the night before and something must have happened. It was so calm and peaceful and light.” But then again later while in bed she felt a wave of fear come over her. “But then I said okay, it doesn’t matter. I am here. Everything is organized. I am going to the start.”
Still coughing at the point when she got to the starting line the coughing completely disappeared.
“Everybody goes through ups and downs. You have your goals. It such a hard tough race, with such a high standard. I have done it before. I know how hard it is. My big goal is just to surrender, always do my best, and not be attached to the outcome. Just be happy, whatever it is. Surrender means that the Supreme is running in and through me. He is running, not me. Once you realize that then it makes it easier.”
“Because then you just and try and be the instrument. Okay, take my body, my soul, my heart, and whatever you need take it. I will try and to be of your service as best I can.”
The divine journey never ends.
Each ending is the preparation for a greater and more fulfilling beginning.