Author: utpal

There are for me many times when I wonder what it would be like to actually do the Self Transcendence 3100 mile race myself.  It is an absurd if not even crazy question but still it is one that forces me to examine more seriously just what I am doing with my own life.

Part of this question, in fact 99% of it, is based on whether or not I even have the physical capacity to do it.  The answer is an unequivocal no.  To even cover 60 miles in one day might likely send me to a hospital.  Just the same I run quite a few laps here every morning and every one is a joy and a celebration.

The real question, raised by wondering about participating in the race myself, is for me a real curiosity about whether or not I had the capacity to stay as happy and as positive as these runners.  Because as far as I can see, being able to maintain this kind of joy is perhaps even more important than piling up the necessary miles. There really can’t be anything in life more stressful and difficult than running 3100 miles.  Yet again and again I see faces filled with spontaneous joy and light.

Everyone here has been running now for almost 2 weeks.  Just about everyone has completed 700 miles or more.  It just has to be tough, it has to be really hurting, and everyone must be really tired.  The scary truth is they have only literally just begun.

We all in our own way try to do the right thing in our life in the right way.  Even if we do the correct thing with reluctance at least it is better than not doing it at all.

To do something like the 3100 than, with all your body, heart, and soul, has to be an accomplishment of unprecedented potential.  To be able to surrender yourself in your entirety, without any pangs of attachment, whispers of desire, or shimmering visions of glory.  To toe the starting line with all the baggage of what your mind demands of you and gradually simply cast it all away until it is just your spirit unburdened, journeying towards its transcendence goal.

Continue reading “June 24: Go Beyond Everything”

I think I know what draws me out of bed before dawn each day and come to the race.  Over the years it has become ever more clearer to me that I can receive and experience something here that is available for just 52 days, and only right here.  As the race enters its 12th day it is also becoming obvious that gradually more and more people are slowly being drawn here.  Not just in the early morning but also through out the day as well.  People who may not know exactly what it is that happening here but still feel an irresistible tug from within to show up on the course.  To walk the route, to bring gifts, to even feel that they are in some way a small part of this unique journey.

A schoolteacher on her way to class this morning dropped off this pot of sunflowers.  She had been deeply touched by the singers who perform in front of the school and also appreciated all the flowers that have been planted around the course.

Glenn who typically supervises the small park at the west end of the loop came by this morning just to say hello.  He is at another park this summer and misses seeing the runners coming around and around all day as he cleans the Joe Austen park.

Then there are those who cannot resist the urge to run here as well.  The number has multiplied in just the past few days.  At one point Surasa dashes by me and right behind her came a lady wearing a Punjabi suit.  No running shoes, no exercise clothes, she appeared to be someone who simply saw another woman doing something challenging and fulfilling, and maybe felt that it just might be good and inspiring for her as well.  She couldn’t of course keep up with Surasa but she did keep going.  When she was finished she stopped by the counting area and asked for a cup of water and then returned to her world.  For a short time, and certainly for at least one mile, this was her world as well.

Continue reading “June 23: Just Smile and be Happy”

“It is very nice, I am already there, I am beyond.” For Sarvagata a new milestone will tumble by the wayside with each new step he takes as he continues to circle the course.  He, like the other 2 new runners, up until today had never run in a race longer than 10 days.  For each of them, going by the numbers at least, self transcendence will be an undeniable verifiable reality.

There is however something truly remarkable to note in what has happened to Sarvagata here yesterday.  Just a month ago when he ran the 10 day race he completed 605 miles, yesterday he completed 656 in 10 days and continues to run strongly.  The finish line for him, and for all the other runners is still far far away.  You can’t however simply point your finger at what might have happened to Sarvagata over the past month to understand how it happened.  Instead you need to step back and, examine the fact that he has been training and preparing hard to do this race for years now.  Putting in miles of training and racing, and also maturing as a person, but most importantly of all becoming fully ready to commit himself on all levels to this race.  To give himself in his entirety, outer and inner, to the Self Transcendence 3100 mile experience.

“I participated in the 10 day race 4 times.  My first time was really horrible.  I mean it was good and nice as well, but only at the end.  Before I got to that point I had to go through all kinds of different experiences, let us say.  I did 480.”

Each time he ran the 10 day race, he improved by 60 miles, except for the race this year.  When only by summoning a super human effort on his last day he ran 5 miles more than the previous year.  “I was a little disappointed from one side.  From the other side, I said, maybe there is some purpose to that.  Now I see why.  I did it here.”

If all our life’s journeys had odometers, it might be interesting to note from time to time just how far we had come and of course just how much further there was left in front of us.  The 3100 is a shockingly difficult event to undertake.  The only certainty each runner has is that each knows categorically, that with each new lap they will draw closer to the finish line.  The thing of greatest importance however, the transformation going on within, is something that is not so discernible.  We are allowed at best a hint and a subtle feeling that something powerful is happening to each and all who run here.  Perhaps, if we are fortunate, we  too can gain something as well.   By our encouragement, by our service,  and if nothing else, than at least by our sense of oneness with these 10 champions.

Continue reading “June 22: There Is Some Purpose”

Everything always moves along so incredibly swiftly here at the Self Transcendence race. There rarely seems to be much time or opportunity to look back over your shoulder. If one did it too often you could easily trip over the present.

It is challenging at the best of times to even just attempt to keep up with the relentless pace and rhythm of all the events taking place here, on this little half mile island of concrete.

Then, out of the infinite blue, a sweet memory will simply lift me out of my shoes and hurl me backward.   It is almost like stepping into some kind of time portal and I find myself returning back to something that took place here over the past 15 summers.  Today there was just that kind of special moment.  It was an instantaneous shock, and It felt  like I had been struck by a thunderbolt. In this precious instant. I briefly found myself in exactly the same place, but it was 5 years earlier.

The spiritual history here is so incredibly deep and rich, that sometimes I am surprised  that I am not delightfully tangled up in it more often.  In the later years of his life Sri Chinmoy spent a great deal of time at his race, often coming several times a day.  Starting in 2006, he used to write a special race pray every day, and have it given to each of the runners.  Today, the very first in that series was once again handed out to the runners.  From the moment my hand touched the blue page, my heart’s clock spun immediately backwards to that time.

Stutisheel was one of the 5, of the current group of 10, who was running the race that year.  He says, “for me it was so delightful, because I adore Sri Chinmoy’s aphorisms, and he started writing them especially for the runners.  It was so special.  Every aphorism reveals the universe to you.”

“Just, I know how to run.   That is it.  It is so simple, but I am running for my Lord Supreme, and therefore he loves me, with his blessing pride.  This is the secret.”

Click to listen

[audio:http://perfectionjourney.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/stutisheel.mp3|titles=stutisheel]

New memories are being written here all the time, just as they should.  5 of the runners here today were of course not even here back then.  Some even may never have even seen much of Sri Chinmoy in person, at all.  But it doesn’t mean to say that they cannot connect with his vision of transcendence as powerfully and as most assuredly, as any one who had the opportunity to be standing close by Sri Chinmoy at the starting line 5 years ago.

For many of us Sri Chinmoy’s physical life was all too brief, yet his inner life continues to illumine and inspire.  His gifts to humanity are still being revealed, his guidance, and vision still felt as strongly as ever.  A confirmation of this of course is clearly revealed in each of those who continue to run so bravely and with such unerring dedication to the goal of transcendence each and every day here.  His vision will continue long past the countless tomorrows.  Long after the sound of footsteps have passed beyond the finish line.

Continue reading “June 21: A Sweet Memory”

“It was a dream of our family to be here helping him.”  Sarvagata’s sister is beaming with enthusiasm as she runs beside her brother on this the 9th day of the race.  The sun is low and golden in the sky and the air is still and clear.   It just may be as beautiful a morning as the race will see all summer.  The irony of all this is that in fact Sarvadhara (Sarvagata’s sister) is currently committed to leave later in the day for Chicago.  She flew in from the Ukraine just last night and came immediately here, only to arrive by fate, just as her brother was going home for the night.

So on this most exquisite morning she is getting the briefest opportunity to share with her brother the 3100 mile race experience. Absorb somehow, in the few fleeting hours she has left, the vast and limitless world her brother and 9 others now inhabit.

This is for her an incredibly special moment because in fact, Sarvadhara has never ever even seen her brother running in a multi day race before. She, like most people have only seen the race via the internet.  Tried to make some sense of something, that on a computer must be incredibly difficult to even begin to follow or even comprehend.

For most people, the moment you have taken even a few steps here on this loop, then you may actually begin to see and feel the world the runners are completely immersed in.   For a moment at least it is possible, to more deeply appreciate  the reality the runners inhabit every second of their day. Every hard slab of concrete here has after all, felt millions of footsteps pass by for the past 15 years.

Things have happened ever so quickly for the Ukrainskyi family.  Even Sarvagata himself did not know for sure that he would come and now neither his sister or his wife will be able to help.  Sarvhara says, “I am not a little sorry I won’t be here, I am a lot sorry.”  With the few hours she has left she says, “Now I am trying to come into this.”

She has followed his experiences previously in the 10 day race via the internet.  “You know it is like a miracle.  When I look at this from the internet I don’t believe in this.  3100 miles in 52 days is just impossible.  When I look and don’t think, I just feel proud of humanity, and gratitude to the Supreme that this is possible for human beings to do this.”

When she arrived last night she had been traveling non stop for more than 24 hours from the Ukraine.  “I was so happy to see him, and all of this, that all my tiredness just flew away.

Click to play interview

[audio:http://perfectionjourney.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/sister1.mp3|titles=sister]

Continue reading “June 20: Inner Door Constantly Open”

For the 10 runners taking part in the Self Transcendence race each new day now, and each additional lap is starting to blend and blur into the immense vision of what they are attempting to do here.  It is such a massive effort and an undertaking of such proportions that the enormity of it, in its entirety, is really incomprehensible.  Only the present moment can remain distinct, and briefly held.  Yesterday is gone just as what happened an hour ago.  Tomorrow will come of course but all they really have is the precious now.

The creator of the race, the late Sri Chinmoy saw clearly what this race represented.  Not just the challenge it presented to the runners but also how it could, in its own unique way, inspire the world, should they dare to examine it.  The legacy of his life is still richly visible in all that he created, accomplished, and offered to the world.  How he was able to inspire people from within takes some closer examination.  How he continues to fuel the fires burning in the hearts of these 10 runners however is clearly visible.  It is evident in not just the fact that they have come to challenge the impossible but also in each of their unblinking  attitudes to what lies in front of them, and perhaps less understood, their consciousness.  When faced with incredible adversity they still are able to shine so, so, bright.

In America today is Father’s day and many are paying tribute to their late teacher here in NY and elsewhere.  He never asked to assume such an intimate relationship with his students but instead it was one in which they themselves established and humbly offered back to him.  His students felt and experienced such an intimate connection and closeness that for many no other relationship, other than father and child would quite do.  There are quite a few here today to celebrate and honor him, who they feel he did so much for, and who they believe continues to provide for in ways not so clearly understood but are profoundly aware of just the same.

A marathon is being held today just across the street from the 3100.  Inspiration will flow, back and forth across the road for many hours.   Then after 5 hours the last of the marathoners will leave and the street will return to its weekend stillness, just as it does every Sunday.  It will once again become the singular world of those who have chosen to run here every day.  The future ahead blurred beyond recognition. The past 7 days gone forever.  But the inspiration within remains as fire bright and as precious as anything that man can treasure.  A higher reality attainable, an inner promise fulfilled, the road ahead now as open and as inviting as a full bright sky.

Continue reading “June 19: Grateful For Every Step Here”

If Ashprihanal was the car you drove every day and not one of the greatest ultra distance runners in the world you probably would have traded him in a long time ago.  Don’t get me wrong, he probably still has a lot of miles left in his legs but the mileage on this 40 year old Finnish runner is shocking and incomprehensible if not incalculable.  At this Self Transcendence race alone, over 10 summers he has racked up 31,000 miles.  Also just this year he has run a 6 day race and 24 hour race.

Over the years he has run so many multi day races and gone for so many lengthy adventure hikes that he has lost track of them all.  Ironically his job in Helsinki is as a deliveryman who walks on foot all the time he is on the job.  Even from the beginning he really wasn’t too interested in recording numbers and totals.  He really just seems to want to immerse himself in whatever the distance experience is.  He is however far from robotic, it is not some endless mindless exercise in movement.  He seems to enter a rarefied world that only the very best distance runners can enter.  The mind is gently nudged out of the way and the heart takes over the wheel and drives him gently, with sweetness, and an incredible lightness as he flutters along, and just above the very hard concrete.

As he enters his 6th day here he has run 420 miles and though he seems to not yet have found his perfect form he is motoring along quite nicely just the same.  Barring something unforeseen he will almost certainly be able to finish the race again this year. He has of course won the race 7 out of the 10 times he has competed.  There is no simple analysis of how and why Ashprihanal is just so good at what he does.  He is such a comfortable and solid  fit into the environment here it is almost impossible to imagine that he would not come back.  Certainly at least not until he has run here 13 times, the same as the incomparable Suprabha.

His footsteps are always so light and his arm movements almost seem to effortlessly twirl and spin in an incomprehensible pattern that never seems to ever repeat itself.  When ever I try to slip into the same orbit as his, I cannot help but notice that he seems to just barely ever to rest upon the same mortal path that the rest of us  members of the human race have to slog along on.  The chemistry and mechanics of Ashprihanal are not to be deciphered by anyone, at least certainly not by me.  His heart at least is open to the world, and is much greater and vaster than the human form that has been granted the task of bearing it around and around this Self Transcendence race.

Ashprihanal running

Continue reading “June 18: Go On, Go On”

All the runners had gone home last night, except for one.  There were just a few minutes left before the curtain of midnight would descend over the course and even if you ran an extra lap it wouldn’t count.  I know he has done something like this before. but suddenly, much to the astonishment of the handful of helpers who were still there, Pranjal decided to get one more lap in before the cut off came.

Picture if you will the very stark reality that he had already run 68 miles, and over 5 days is already close to 10 miles ahead of last year.  He was attempting to run a lap quicker than he had certainly done all day and perhaps faster than any he had run from his very first day of the race.  Sahishnu was one of the few who was still there and told me this story this morning.  I, like most normally exhausted people was probably  already beneath the covers and dreaming about just trying to make it to the race before Pranjal would again arrive here at 5:45 the next morning.

According to Sahishnu there was a little more than 6 minutes left.  Normally a lap takes Pranjal 8 to 9 minutes to complete.  There are no pictures of this of course and in the great scheme of things it is just one of those amazing moments that happens every day here in some way great and small to each and every runner.

The point here though is that Pranjal sprinted a lap in 5:30, squeezing it just in before it would no longer count.  Then with out fanfare he hopped on his bike and went home.  In the end for him it was just one more lap out of the 5649 he will need to do here to complete the race.

When you attempt to take a broad perspective of the Self Transcendence race, you cannot help but notice that everything is inexorably always moving forward.  Nothing can ever remain static, everything is constantly moving and if obstacles thrust themselves up in front of you than they have to be pushed aside.  If anything at all remains constant it is the runners undying faith that they have a divine inner purpose to be here and do their very best.  The capacity they all have, they themselves just have to come up with the willingness and the shoe leather.   Then every so often they do something impossible and make us all wonder just what we can accomplish as well.

Continue reading “June 17: Miracles and Monuments”

Yesterday Pranjal passed a significant personal milestone that tells an awful lot about this incredible Slovakian runner and just why he has been so successful here at the 3100 mile race.  Yesterday it turns out was the 3rd anniversary of when he first started his, never miss a day, running streak.

After completing the Self Transcendence race here in 2009 he hit upon the inspiration that if he simply kept running, at least 2 miles a day, he was almost certain to get better, and he was right.  His strategy, which is a simple one, is one of  the keys as to why he has improved so much. In fact from the very first year he ran here, which was 2005, he has transcended himself each year.  Now, after 4 days of running he is 4 miles ahead of last years pace.  This of course is a razor thin margin but if he manages to keep it up, it will mean he will once again improve his time, in this his 7th year in a row of running the 3100 mile race.

Some of the veteran runners here, but not all, take lengthy breaks once they have completed the race.  Who could blame them.  There will be weeks if not months ahead of painful recovery.  From the very first time he ran here Pranjal felt that this was going to be his life., and as long as he was able to run, he wanted to immerse himself in this, the pinnacle arena of spiritual transformation.

Every one of us believes that there is at least one thing in our lives that we may be better than average at doing.  Very few of us however can even begin to imagine the training that any of the athletes here, particularly Pranjal, puts in, in order to not just make a decent effort, but to wholeheartedly say they gave their all.  More importantly he is not for a moment thinking of beating any one else.  He simply wants to be able to simply say that he gave all that he had to give.  Expect no reward in this either, other than the certain knowledge that this was his very best as a runner and as a seeker athlete.

Pranjal is a relentless trainer and a relentless seeker of his own perfection.  If it means coming early and staying late he does it.  If it means taking shorter and shorter breaks and being as efficient as it is possible to be, he will do it.  If it means that the key to getting more miles each day is to run just a little faster each lap, he does it.  If there is time to squeeze one more lap before the clock strikes midnight, he will do it.  Is he tired, is he sore, is his body suffering, absolutely.  The thing is of course is that he is not listening to his body, or his mind, or the pain, or the fatigue.  He listens only to his heart, which is giving him the best possible guidance and which is never wrong.  O to be like Pranjal.

Continue reading “June 16: Do My Best Every Day”

When one decides to run the 3100 mile race it quickly becomes apparent that from the moment you take your very first step here that suddenly you are entering a very public arena.  You may have trained for months alone on soft mountain trails and felt the sweet stillness of nature comforting you with its beauty.  Perhaps you ran care free without any problem intruding into your life and felt contentment and peace in abundant measure.  This world is available here as well on the concrete loop here in Queens but it is an aspect of the race that does not come to all and never to all, all the time.

Here you are visible at nearly all times.   There is practically not a moment of any kind of  privacy for 18 hours each and every day.  If your race is going well and you have settled into a comfortable zone than it can be heaven on earth.  Sometimes however the runners experience and learn the most here when they are confronted by real monumental struggle and with extreme adversity.  A battle must be waged to win each and ever lap. In the end perhaps the greatest adversary a runner must deal with is not gathering up all the miles but simply confronting a part of their being that resists being transformed.

The foes within can be identified by many names.  Whether it be unwillingness or lethargy, or even a deep stubbornness that resists all sweet enticements to surrender and instead must be pushed ever forward, lap by lap, into eventual submission. Self transcendence is ultimately more about what we become within and not what we accomplish on the outside.

Atmavir is for me an extraordinary gifted athlete and he is incredibly dedicated to this event.  Last year however was a monumental struggle for him practically from day one until he finished the race 49 days latter.  It was the 4th time he had run the race and prior to last year he had gotten faster each and every time he ran.  Last year of course was extremely hot and he rarely looked comfortable and yet he never gave up.

He said at the time, ”

“I was wondering why I was suffering so much this year, while some people were really quite smooth.  On those really hot days.  My feeling is that everybody has a different role in this race, and we have to accept these roles.”  He explains that it is also in the task of cheerfully accepting the different results, no matter whether it is success or failure, that is perhaps one of the key accomplishments for those who run here.  That you must work extremely hard to do your best and than as well be grateful for whatever the outcome might be.

“Definitely I am quite happy that it will be over.  It was my toughest year here.  It was my hardest race ever.  On the other hand the inner progress that we are doing here.  If you are putting yourself through more pressure maybe something deeper will appear.”

Continue reading “June 15: Something Deeper Will Appear”