utpal – Page 65 – Perfection Journey

June 18: It Becomes More Than A Race

I was asked a very good question the other day and unfortunately it is one that I have no answer for. Simply put, someone asked me, that if a person was not interested in running or sports very much, would they still be able to establish any real connection to the Self Transcendence 3100 mile race.

I am not a behavioral psychologist or have much interest in analyzing sports data so I have no practical way of answering this question. Certainly all those who have posted comments here are all runners and some like Purna Samarpan and Smarana have run the race many times. Laura of course, who lives and runs somewhere out in Kansas has been a keen fan for 6 years, though I suspect she is a little sad this year that Surasa could not return and run again.

On the surface the most dedicated followers of the race who cannot visit in person have several ways of making themselves known. Quite a few emails come into the race site every day to be distributed to the runners, some runners even receive regular phone calls.

Pradeep just may have the most dedicated fan base back in Holland. This morning I saw him eating a granola bar that he brought from home. Very carefully wrapped around it and tapped to the package was a joke his friends had given him. He has in fact one for every day of the race, a unique gift that provides something delicious to nourish the body and also something cheerful to lighten the heart. He loves the bar and insists that today’s joke only makes sense if you understand Dutch.

I am in a unique position and thus am able to gain an almost exclusive entry into the inner workings of the race. To see it as close perhaps as it is possible to experience the event without actually having to be there 18 hours a day. Talk silly nonsense sometimes and at other moments have the most intimate spiritual conversations. See all their faces up close as I run along and then afterwards look at the photos I took and marvel at the radiant beauty that emerges from the faces of those who are stepping almost free of the material world and going on a journey that I can only dream of. So I cannot help but be enraptured by it all but also humbled at the same time to have the privilege of having this access.

Yes I run and have run for decades so it is nothing for me to easily and instantly feel the soulful inviting pull of the race and all it has to offer. But if you did not run and if you did not like sport of any kind what would you see and feel here?

The ones who carom by in cars certainly cannot feel much at all. But if you actually are able to even walk on the course I am positive you will most certainly experience something deep, heartfelt, and meaningful.

But even if great distance forces you to observe the 3100 from a vantage point on the far side of the world. You are only able to envision the runners through your own imagination as they actually strive and struggle to reach for the highest, then definitely some receptive portion of your inner being will respond and be stirred. If today you are not a runner than perhaps tomorrow you will become one, no matter which road your feet and heart take you ever closer to your goal.

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June 17: You Have To Start Somewhere

“Sometimes I feel like that I have never gone from here. It is like a continuation of the last one.” The Self Transcendence race is just minutes old and Sarvagata, like all the other runners, is still warming up. Loosening up reluctant bits of body, fine tuning his focus, more heart and less mind, and still trying to find an inner rhythm and strength that will be his most important constant companion for the many miles ahead.

There was a small enthusiastic gathering as the race started at 6 am this morning. The cheers and applause gradually faded away as most of the bystanders slipped back into the personal private worlds in which most of us all inhabit. In an hour or so the sidewalk around Thomas Edison High school was once again swept free of bystanders and became the sole unique world of the 12 who have dedicated themselves to an almost impossible journey . A sacred place, that last year changed Sarvagata’s world forever. Somehow he was able to come here as a first timer and did not simply survive but thrived and found victory in just 44 days. This city block may be a tiny material reality but at the same time it is an infinite universe teeming with limitless possibilities for transformation and transcendence.

For those who ponder the most significant questions of life such as, ‘who am I?’ There is no guarantee that any magic answer will be revealed to them here, no matter how much they commit themselves and sacrifice all parts of their beings, whether it be inner or outer.

But at least with each mile that takes their body around and back from where they started, the most important portion of themselves is continually obliged to move ever forward on the inner journey we all one day must take. For each and every runner the scenery never changes but their own personal experiences are constantly evolving and have infinite possibilities.

It is unlikely that any runner will have some cosmic vision of their world in which everything is revealed. Most certainly however all will have some positive insights into their inner selves and be certain that they have done the right thing to come here and run. Maybe even from time to time see what keeps them limited or chained to their past.

More likely are the precious silent moments that also reveal the luminous brightness of their true inner reality. One not defined by tired painful bodies but by smiles and the unhorizoned joy of those struggling to find their way back to the source.

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June 16: The Great Awakening

I don’t quite know how to shake free of this feeling I have been having the past few days. It is as though I am slowly but surely awakening from a deep and total slumber. That somehow for the past 10 months my world has been shut down, devoid of boundless inner light and wonder. Certainly a functioning body has been going through all the necessary motions in that time but in some way my inner being has been stuck fast in some inescapable dim void. Like a pause button has been struck and the time has come to at last resume living life to the fullest by touching the one marked play. My guess is tomorrow that will at last happen to me and to others who have suffered through that same experience.

For right now the 3100 mile race is just hours away from starting for the 16th summer and with its momentous beginning, some inactive but precious part of me will once again ignite and my soul flames will burn bright once more. It is almost as though I am about to embark and enter a world that is flooded with light and purpose and where even the most tired soul cannot help but arise and awake once more and set forth upon the tasks which they have been appointed to do. In countless ways innumerable others will also see some portion, if not all their own restless slumber, disturbed and brought back to full wakeful consciousness.

There is no accurate or clerical way to judge just how many people find some portion of their lives intertwined with the race, By this I do not mean the obvious few who wear numbers and circle the endless block. I believe, but cannot prove it to be true, that there are countless seekers who are inspired by the race’s incompressible magnificence. See it is a gift to all those who allow their life experience to step beyond the constraints of the limited material world and be absorbed in the effulgence of an unlimited spiritual one.

Discover at every moment in the race that it is an open invitation for all who may be stuck in their personal journeys or who simply want to revive the inspiration to move beyond their self imposed limitations. It is both the easiest and most difficult thing to allow yourself to be swept up in a great tide of energy and illumination. Yet without much fanfare and in plain site to much of the sometimes oblivious world, the constant thriving miracle, that is the Self Transcendence 3100 Mile Race comes freely and openly into the world each and every year. Generously providing an energy and boundless experience that is not confined to a city block in New York, but in its own infinite and mysterious way is able to touch and inspire people everywhere.

For the 12 who will stand on the starting line tomorrow morning it is for them a sacred task they have willingly and readily agreed to undertake. All, except one, have endured this challenge before. Know all too well the sacrifice and pain that will tear and nip at every fiber of their physical and yet are also aware of the subtle inner rewards that are offered to those who open up and reveal the deepest parts of themselves. It is not impossible of course for a fit and trained athlete to complete the distance, but if it was just about miles stacked in 1000 mile bundles than that runner would be missing the true and deepest aspect of the race. As Sri Chinmoy once wrote:

Every day when you run, you have to feel that it is a golden opportunity to appreciate the One who is inspiring you. Always you have to feel that the Supreme is inspiring you to run this longer than the longest distance. Somebody is begging you, urging you, to do the right thing. Again, when you agree and say, “Yes, I will do it,” then that Somebody Himself runs in and through you. First God comes and begs us, “Be a nice person, be a nice person.” Then when we have decided that we should become a nice person, when we have said, “Yes, my Lord, I have decided to become a nice person,” God Himself becomes that nice person. Similarly, when you run, if you offer the prayer, “God, please make me a good runner. I want to make progress this time in my running,” then this is a good prayer. At that time God Himself will become a good runner inside you.

Sri Chinmoy, Run And Smile, Smile And Run, Agni Press, 2000.

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Day Eleven: A Total Journey

We all can agree that when we come face to face with true adversity it will unfailing reveal some measure of who and what we are. The world around us can quickly judge whether or not we strived hard or hid back some portion of our capacity but ultimately within we are the only true judge of whether or not we truly gave our all. Many if not most tasks that line up in our day to day existence do not demand examination.

Occasionally though some extraordinary opportunity arrives directly in front of our path that beggars nothing less than a full commitment of all our resources and every fiber of our being. Perhaps makes us even plum the very depths of our soul, in such a way, that does not just challenge us but also transforms the very dimensions of our consciousness. Bringing us ever so much closer to a summit that we all sooner or later must reach.

It is hard to imagine a singularly more difficult physical challenge than entering a multi day race. A place where the hunger for motivation and miles is relentless. Where our familiar mental companions, hesitation and doubt will team up with another adversary fatigue, and try and thwart and delay each new step forward on our journey. Where time itself can envelop you in a fog of indifference and our ultimate destination dissolves into temporary obscurity.

Today for a group of runners in Flushing Meadow, their 10 or 6 days of extreme adversity has come to a grateful conclusion. One measure of the true value of their experience is written in numbers beside their names on the mileage board. Yet ultimately the inner rewards, the most important ones, are sheltered in deep safe and sacred places within each one who tied on shoes and stepped forward beyond the starting line. A transformation has taken place that is possibly visible to others but one that can only be appreciated and treasured by the runner themselves, who heard the bell clang as the last hour struck and then could go no further.

What all have gained, from this great brave journey, we hope they can continue to use to make their own worlds, if not the world we all share, better. And if the challenge of the race was not enough then come back once again to Flushing Meadow and race again with a family of like minded runners. A place where the painful limitations of the human body are touched and illumined by the indisputable vastness of the heart within.

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Day Ten: All The Way To The Finish LIne

We all have almost an infinite variety of choices glaring at us, and each of them usually incessantly demands our undivided attention. These may all be real options set out in front of the landscape of our lives or more often, little pestering thoughts that erupt out of some turbulent portion of or brains. For multi day runners those enumerable decisions are simplified at most times and reduced to clear cut choices. Eat or not, break or not, run or sit and yet when things are going well, as we hope it might in the rest of our lives, there are sometimes moments when there are no choices to be made at all.

In the tranquility of a silenced mind, the runner’s body becomes one with a flow of movement and energy that requires no examination, and certainly no deciding needs to be done. One can feel intuition expressing itself clearly and all we need do is just to enjoy our own greater inner capacity that has somehow managed to find its way into our personal driver’s seat. This kind of experience is always possible as well in our own day to day living, but out here in Flushing Meadow where the runners have pummeled their physical beings into extreme fatigue the mind sometimes has no choice but to surrender to the clarity of the heart.

A couple of days ago Vasu Duziy had taken a break and when he attempted to get up he simply couldn’t move. He said that at that moment he remembered a prayer that spoke about cheerful surrender and having no expectation. At that very moment Dipali came by and saw his discomfort and suggested that he simply keep moving. “So I tried to walk and afterwards tried to run and soon my shinsplint became better and by God’s grace I started to run and was very very happy.”

At different times during the week he has been in and out of 1st place in the 10 day race. Even now, in this his very first 10 day run, he has gone further and pushed his body harder than he has ever asked of it before. He says that right now with 18 very long hours to go he is not interested in what place he receives. He just wants to do his very best. He has made his choice and now will simply follow his heart all the way to the finish line.

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Day Nine: Reach My Goal

Late every evening a silent alarm goes off inside of me somewhere and reminds me that I have simply have had enough activity for the day and it is time to shut things down for the night. The are times when I can wrestle a few more hours out of the mechanism but generally my internal clock refuses to be tampered with. We humans are marvels of design and function but according to my observations at least, our bodies simply have a long list of limitations and individual quirks in conjunction with as well some marvelous and wondrous features.

Also when our bodies have been working hard little warning signals come up and warn us that if we keep going this way we are going to be in real trouble. You don’t have to be part of the great surging tide of humanity very long to have this notion of ourselves stamped into our brains that we are limited, we are weak, and we need to be careful when doing just about anything.

If you ride on the same rails as this limiting philosophy you will never see much of the true world or really understand who and what we really are. At 1 am this morning I came back to Flushing Meadow to once again immerse myself in a miraculous world where Impossibility is battled relentlessly by not just those running and shuffling round the course but as well by all those who serve to make it all happen here in Flushing Meadow each year at this time.

Right now it is smack dab in the middle of the vast dark night. The city about us slumbers and is as quiet and as still as it ever gets, and yet a surprising number of runners keep going. Reaching within to pull forth the untouchable reserves of strength and determination that they never knew was possible. As well simply change the old channel of how they listen to themselves and attempt to discover the silent voice within that we so often ignore and dare not listen to.

We don’t do this most often because we are afraid of what we might become. Which is simply our own true divine selves within, that cannot speak, and does not know the word defeat. Instead, it only knows and cares for self transcendence.

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Day Eight: The Next Dream

Luis Rios is not the kind of guy who talks about himself very much. So you really have to be up on these kind of things to even know that today is his birthday. People at the 6 and 10 day race tend to be more aware of this special day because he has spent at least the last 14 of them right here, circling around the loop of the Self Transcendence race. I know they had a birthday cake for him sometime earlier in the day, because a couple of small pieces of chocolate cake are still sitting on his table when I came this afternoon. I also suspect that he probably politely, but awkwardly stood shuffling back and forth on both feet as a group of running friends and camp people sang him Happy Birthday. He probably didn’t give a speech and maybe didn’t even smile very much, though I know inside it touched him and made him happy that they cared.

He turned 64 this year and his only concession to age is to simply skip the 10 day race and instead run the 6. I don’t know if he got any presents but he is probably pretty happy with his 3 day total of 167 which puts him in 10th place in the men’s category. I went out with him on the course for a short while and didn’t even bother to try and interview him. The fact that he is still here and enjoying multi day races and still moving steadily along says of Luis all that needs to be said. He enjoys company and he has good friends that he can count on. The fact that he never misses these races means that the Self Transcendence races can always count on him as well.

What the younger runners might not know is just how really good a runner this scrawny man from Brooklyn really once was. How also he has somehow maintained now for many years a daily and very disciplined training program. How dedicated he is and just how big a heart somehow fits into a guy who can’t weigh more than 150 lbs. I can’t say for sure when was the first time he ran a Sri Chinmoy race but in 1986 (26 years ago) he was good enough to win this 24 hour race with 138 miles.

What is interesting about this photo is who else is in it, namely Ted Corbitt one of the legends of distance running who himself even ran this race when he was 82 years old completing 303 miles. In light of this, there really doesn’t ever seem to be an end to Luis being a part of multi day running. The only real end in sight is the finish line now just 3 days off. After that is a short ride back home and then to head back out on to the long roads of Brooklyn again the next day.

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Day Seven: The Supreme’s Own Plan

“At first I thought, well it is just 6 days it is a bit more than half of a 10 day race. But then (a loud pause)…., It is going to be fine.” Jayasalini Abramovskhikh has been a fixture of the 10 day race here in Flushing Meadow for the past few years and simply because of vacation time conflicts she had to pass up the 10 day this year and instead select the 6. But sometimes silence and a look can communicate much more than just words can do.

“Then I said it is 2 days, plus 2 days, plus 2 makes 6. I had some confidence that it would be good. I will enjoy it. I try and enjoy every second of being here. But the second day of the race this year, I never had in any races,……it was really tough for me.” She describes that just into her 2nd day it felt more like she had already been running for 6.

“I think this is an experience that you can never predict and you can never plan. The Supreme always has his own plan for you. And all you need is to just accept whatever experiences you get. And accept it as cheerfully as you can. So I try. This morning was really not easy. I was crying and crying and then God’s grace descended and now after a break I feel better, physically and emotionally, so I am happy.”

For most working folks locked into a 9 to 5 lifestyle the world of ultra endurance sports may be several time zones beyond comprehensible. Making a living and paying the bills is a struggle that most of us feel is one of the unfortunate givens in order to stand in line with the rest of humanity. Yet right now there are more than 70 runners circling a loop in Flushing Meadow who have turned away from all the conventions of the so called normal world and are subjecting themselves to a physical and mental struggle that is incomprehensible to most and intolerable to nearly all.

“In general it was a feeling that nearly everything hurt. When you start feeling sorry for yourself, that you go through all this pain. Then once you try to get rid of this feeling, and just enjoy. Even if it is pain, it will go away.”

“When I try and concentrate on something else, for example breathing. When I try to get energy and power from everything around. Then at midday there was a beautiful beautiful rainbow. I have never ever seen such a rainbow. I think this morining was difficult for everybody, and when we saw this rainbow. Everybody was staring and looking at the sky, and got so much joy. It was such special blessings.”

Jayasalini says that she has no mileage goals for this race, but describes that she had a powerful inspiration yesterday, “to stay in a good consciousness. I try not to be attached to this mileage, to the results. For me the point is to stay in the moment, and not to think of the past or the future. Just do this, one step after another.”

Click to play interview

[audio:http://perfectionjourney.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/jayasalini.mp3|titles=jayasalini]

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Day Six: Learn From The Experience

“I came here thinking that I wanted to try new things. I wanted to find challenges that I can’t overcome. I am always looking to test my limits, and I was very excited about trying a multi day. I have always been pretty comfortable in doing high mileage in training.

In training for 100 mile races I am always running over 150 miles a week. I run doubles and sometimes triples, and after running some of my 100 mile races I have felt extraordinarily good the next day, almost fresh. So I figured a 6 day may be something I am just built for.”

When the 6 day race started yesterday Michael Arnstein, simply slipped into a higher gear than everybody else and literally left the other 35 runners behind. It was almost as though he had entered some completely different event then the rest of the field who were, for a time at least, simply sharing the track with him.

Yet a multi day race is rarely conquered by raw power. Nature as well stepped into the mix and unleashed 2 inches of torrential rain accompanied by powerful gusts. It was a wake up call for any who thought the race would be easy, throughout the long stormy night it certainly wasn’t. Michael ran hard for the first 12 hours and then took a break. One so long that for any other athlete it could have been the stuff that breaks dreams and hearts.

Yet now it is late on Monday afternoon and Michael is still here. Like the old fable of the tortoise and the speedy hare Michael for now, finds himself far back in the field. I don’t know how far the gap was earlier in the day, but for now he is nearly 40 miles behind the leader. An insurmountable distance if mathematicians and statisticians ruled the universe. They don’t thankfully and this rabbit named Michael Arnstein has successfully pushed back whatever devils or discomfort that pulled him away and has once again fully entered the race.

By entering the 6 day race he has absolutely found a new challenge that does not yield an inch to the timid or the foolish. He has made short work of the many 100 mile races he has run, and he may as well in the next few days, figure out and conquer the 6 day event here. If he doesn’t he has at least pushed back a challenge in his first day that maybe he has never had to confront in his young running career ever before. He was pummeled by adversity and picked himself up and simply come out and gone back to work.

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Day Five: Part of Something Greater

Few first time visitors to New York would ever consider visiting a soggy windswept Flushing meadow park a priority, for even a minute, little alone spending 6 days here . Yet starting from today, a 58 year old Scottish runner named William Sichel and his friend /support crew Allan, just might be carving out a new piece of Scottish sporting history here. William is an enormously gifted and experienced multi day runner. His list of records is impressive and yet there is one record, the Sottish 6 day record that has remained tangibly illusive to him.

One should always be challenged to break records and as a rule they all, no matter how grand, are expected to fall to each new generation. The Scottish 6 day record however has proven to be so far out of reach, beyond more than most could ever have imagined. In fact it is now the longest standing Scottish sporting record in that nations history, and as a matter of fact, it was set right here in New York city. It turns out that in 1882 pedestrianism was an enormously popular sport. At that time a Scottish man named George Cameron, who called himself Noremac (Cameron backwards), was doing well at races both in the UK and America. It was at a race at Madison Square Garden in October of that year that he established his historical record of 567 miles.

William has gotten o so painfully close with his own personal best of 518 miles road (532 miles track) but it has stubbornly refused to willing fall beneath his relentless running feet. His respect for the record runs deep and it is not impossible to imagine that he has done everything humanly possible to make his own new mark.

Yesterday both he and Allan went into Manhattan yesterday to visit where the old Madison Square Garden once stood and bid their respects to the sacred ground where Scottish sporting history reached a new peak.

The winds have picked up today here at Flushing Meadow and the rain comes in bursts and whips around the course. It really looks very much like a Scottish day of course. It may not be a great day for starting a 6 day race but at least it is conditions that William is used to.

He looks calm and relaxed and his friend Allan is taking away all the burdens of the little details that can slow an athlete down a step. All William has to do is run his very best and just maybe make his own new mark for other Scottish runners to look up to. Set it just out of reach down the road, and then they can catch it for themselves, when their legs and hearts are really ready for it.

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